(via Stephon Marbury’s Career Makeover in China: Profiles: GQ)

Mr. Song agreed to take up the hotel upgrade—a $14-a-night proposition—with his boss, then he turned the conversation to basketball. The Brave Dragons, he said, were promising this year, having recently acquired a second American player, Jamal Sampson, late of the Denver Nuggets. The most important thing, Mr. Song said through Cindy, was that the fourteenth-ranked team finish in the top eight.

Marbury gave him a straight look and held up his index finger. “Number one,” he said.

And Cindy went, “Yeeeeeeeeahh,” part weird cheer, part dubious meow. “So you will, you will lead our team to the top eight? You promise that?”

“Don’t worry,” Marbury said.

“Okay! We believe you! Ha! Ha!” said Cindy, in a tone of forced enthusiasm. “So, ah, now Mr. Song want to know, before you come to China, you maintain the trainings?”

She cast a nervous eye over Marbury’s middle, which was a tad softer and rounder than it had looked beneath the lights at Madison Square Garden. Marbury nodded.

“Every day?”

“Listen,” said Marbury. “All you need to know: When December 10 comes, when they throw the basketball up, I’ll be ready.”

“Auch!” said Mr. Song, though whether he meant, “Auch—what a relief” or “Auch—this person is completely full of baloney” was not immediately clear.

“We believe in you!” cried Cindy.